Babbs in the Woods: Home, home on the range — tips for teaching your sweetie to shoot

OK, fellas. We all know the fastest way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, and a lot of you guys think the fastest way to a woman’s heart is through your wallet. Well, that might be so for some gals, but there’s change coming and you guys might want to know about it.

You remember that old “quality time vs. quantity time” debate over raising children in the 1980s? Now it turns out that those of us who used quantity time meshed with good quality activities were right.

Well, I’m telling you that I’ve seen this method of endearing yourself to your honey—the one the employs combining quality plus quantity time – used once or twice before on the ladies. In fact, I’ve even had it used on me – about 31 years ago.

Here’s the scenario: she wants to spend time with you and she wants your undivided attention, but you don’t want to act like a dress rack anymore.

Here’s the answer: take her to the range and teach her how to shoot your gun. Yep, that’s it. Spend time with your honey, showing her that guns are not these big, bad things that jump up and shoot anyone without reason.

First of all, you have to convince her to go with you. That might take some work, but you could say, “I would like to see you have the confidence and skill to use this firearm if I cannot be here to help you.” Repeat that: “I would like to see you have the confidence and skill to use this firearm if I cannot be here to help you.”

An example of her needing to know this skill might occur (God forbid) after she calls the sheriff and finds out that the deputy is over at the other end of the county and won’t be able to be there within 20-30-40 minutes. Or, even if the sheriff can be there in five minutes, the door might get broken down within two minutes. Remember, court cases have shown that the law enforcement officers are not responsible for protecting individuals; they are supposed to enforce laws and protect society at large.

Now, once you’re out there at the range, make sure she has adequate protection – ears and eyes – and, if she’s going to shoot a shotgun, let her use your padded hunting vest. Later on, buy her a shield – or have her take those 1980s shoulder pads that she could have donated to the local football team and have her pin one of those things under her unmentionable piece of lingerie on her shooting shoulder. Those spidery-vein breaks under the skin might be macho on you guys, but they make us women look like we’ve taken a “sucker-punch” to the shoulder.

Also, take the time to explain how to shoot and don’t get all macho about it. Tell her the parts of a gun: safety, trigger, chamber, magazine, barrel, stock. Be sure that you go over the basics of gun safety, such as the most important rule: Always keep the muzzle pointed in a safe direction.

Don’t get all itchy to shoot at something. Teach her about range safety, and about why she shouldn’t be practicing at her targets while others are checking groups on their targets. Tell her why she has to unload and point the gun’s muzzle away from others.

Show her how to load and hold the weapon. Here’s where you can get up close and personal. Teach her how to control her breathing when she fires and tell her to keep both eyes open. (If you should ever have to defend yourself, you wouldn’t want to have one eye shut.)

First, let her practice dry-firing, until she gets the feel of the weapon. Get her to practice standing and holding the weapon as if she’s ready to fire it. Then, when she’s ready, have her fire at targets close enough for her to be successful. From my observations, seldom does someone who experiences success on the shooting range come away with a negative attitude toward shooting.

Don’t expect this to be a once-in-a-lifetime visit to the range or shooting area. Why, if you do this right, she might be asking you to go there with her.

Besides the bonus of having companionship at the range, you might also have the knowledge that your friend/partner/girlfriend can defend herself with a firearm. She might finally understand why you enjoy shooting and maybe even, hunting. If successful, you might find that now you can use your wallet to get to her heart. But don’t be surprised if she wants an expensive, engraved walnut-stock 20-gauge, over-and-shotgun.

Oh, this same advice does apply to kids, too. We’ve tested that on four children and so far, the results are 100 percent in favor of the kids enjoying themselves, too.