Now just stop to think about that statement for a moment and digest it … does Oprah pick up dog poo? (Well, does she?) Last month I was traveling through the southeast part of Louisiana with Kay and Jerry Miculek and Lisa Munson. We were on our way to the bayou for what is now known as Deb’s gator adventure or you might remember it as the event where Little Debbie’s ® were used as gator bait. For those of you who follow this column, you know I’m not really bayou material; I’m more in tune with a production like Gone with the Wind.
Getting back to my interest in Oprah’s life, while on the road I received a call from a female producer with a French network. To be honest, her English was pretty good; however, I was having trouble understanding her so I put her on speakerphone. The bottom line was that she was following up on behalf of her network on a piece I had done with their competitor network, TF1, back in mid-March. To catch you up on TF1, they contacted me while I was in Alaska with Kay and Lisa as part of the Iditarod media group. TF1 wanted to tape a Babes with Bullets ™ three day camp and oh by the way, could we bring the camp and campers out to a range near their U.S. base in Los Angeles and could it be next weekend?
Needless to say doing an impromptu camp in Hollywood wasn’t going to happen with a few days notice, so what we offered instead was a three-hour Handgun 101 program at my home range at the Tucson Rifle Club. The camera crew from TF1 did show up, so did the ladies I had recruited from my yoga group, plus the Tucson Garden Club. The piece done by TFI was very pro-gun and actually well received in France, hence the other network wanted to do a follow-up piece on Babes with Bullets ™. As the French producer was explaining to me the different piece they would like to do, it became evident she had not a clue how much planning and infrastructure it takes to host one of our three-day “immersion” camps. What she did grasp is that Babes with Bullets ™ is unique and there is a lot of interest in even an anti-gun country like France about women champions, like Kay and Lisa, training other women about action pistol sports.
When I explained to her that she could attend a camp with her camera crew, however, it would take place at one of our regularly scheduled programs, she went on to explain why we’d have to bring the camp to her. I explained again why that wasn’t feasible and then she threw down the BIG CARD: “In France, you are a star and we want to make you a bigger star,” she said. I digested that for a minute and then said back to her, “I’m glad I’m a star somewhere but that doesn’t change where and when the camps are held?” There was silence for a few moments and then she semi-whispered, “Don’t you want to be a star?”
I thought about it for a few more moments and answered, “Being a star is not a big deal to me … after all, when I get home, I’m still out there picking up dog poo.” And with a 170-pound mastiff (Jethro) and a 70-pound Germanshepherd (Ellie), that’s a lot of poo.
Maybe they don’t pick up dog poo in France, as this seemed to really stymie the gal. We had a cordial good-bye and there was silence in the car for a minute or two and then I had to ask myself, “Does Oprah pick up dog poo? Because if she doesn’t then maybe I should reconsider and call that gal back, I might want to be a star after all!”
Jethro and Ellie May Ferns. Photo by Deb Ferns.
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Deb, you’re already a star, and more importantly, you’re a hero and role model to many, including myself. Seriously, you have changed my life for the better, and I can’t thank you enough!
P.S. – If you ever need any one last minute for one of those impromptu classes/TV gigs, feel free to contact me. I’m just a couple of hours away and I’m always looking to get more shooting time in.
Hey Jackie J,
Yes, Deb is a shining star, a great role model for all women.
Thanks for making my day a brighter day, Deb! You always make me smile with your eloquent candor! And whether you know it or not, you’re a STAR in my eyes, poo or no poo.
I’m still laughing! I look forward to Deb’s columns because they always make me smile and sometimes, they even make me laugh out loud! Yep, Babbs, that’s our Deb to a T.
This is one of my fav OMCZs that Deb has contributed so far. It really captures the essence (couldn’t help it) of our Deb!
Deb – good thing it was a gal on the other end of the phone. Can’t you just see in your mind the slimey Hollywood agent with the open shirt and 5 gold chains, bad comb-over and pinky ring uttering the words “Baby, I can make you a star! A star, I say!” Ewww! And in case you haven’t already realized, you’re already a star… ; )
I am sure Oprah must have a poo-picker-person. Alas, I am also a poo-picker at home… sigh. Let me know if you need an assistant.