Yard ornaments intrigue me, especially when people put strange concoctions of ornaments together. Like one time, I saw the Virgin Mary with her arms stretched out, holding two small American flags. Bless her. So, I was out on a walk the other day and I happened to look over at a collection of outside Christmas yard ornaments. And immediately, the art student from grade school in me tried to find perspective, a reason that a huge, lit wired deer would fit in with the delicate manger scene nearby.
And so, I give you my holiday rendition of “Oh Holy Deer,” set to the tune of “Oh Holy Night,” and think Andy Williams when you sing this one.
Oh, holy deer
Your lights are brightly blinding.
It is the night
And you graze on the lawn.
Next to the set
With a lit Mary and Joseph.
You tower over baby Jesus
Where e’er he lay.
A thrill of hope
Your size o’er takes the manger.
It’s almost like
You are a dinosaur.
Fall … on my knees
If I want to get … a proper perspective.
Oh hear-ear-a-ear my knees a’crunching.
Oh night divine
It’s quite a sight.
Oh what a night. (And this makes me want to go all Frankie Valli & the Four Seasons, but I will refrain.)
And I’m telling you now, if that deer finishes with all that grass, he’s going for the hay in the manger … which leads me to another song, “Oh hay in a manger, watch out for that deer.”
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Publisher/Editor Barbara Baird is a freelance writer in hunting, shooting and outdoor markets. Her bylines are found at several top hunting and shooting publications. She also is a travel writer, and you can follow her at https://www.ozarkian.com. View all posts by Barbara Baird
Hey Accidental Preacher’s Wife! Back atcha. You’ve made me laugh a lot on road trips we’ve taken together! Sorry to hear you’re ill. Did you see along?
Barb, you worry me…you really do! Next thing you’ll be singing weird renditions of songs at the opening of baseball games (but if they pay you enough money why not – right?)
This was hilarious! I’m recovering from the flu and really needed a good laugh today. You are one-of-a-kind, Barb! (-: