We all know that no serious huntresses would be caught wearing that itchy, lacy stuff under our real camo when out in the woods or field. But, that whole Hatchie Bottom thing made me laugh because it reminded me of a creek story.

When I worked as a newspaper reporter and had my own column I often went out with my “sources.” In this case, it was Ethelyn Ammerman, an octogenarian who knew where the bodies were buried – like in one case, Valentine Branson’s body, the founder of Branson, Missouri, and he wasn’t lying anywhere near Branson.

My pal Ethelyn finds Valentine Branson's grave. Photo by Barbara Baird.

One day, Ethelyn and I went out to visit a guy named Junior and he took us out in an old car that didn’t have brakes, and drove us across a field and down to a creek to see where there had been a little Civil War skirmish, up near Owensville, Mo. And, in the meantime, he explained the reason for the nearby creek’s name. He said, “It was named ‘Hatchie Creek’ ‘cuz a family there had a bunch of kids and they all had head lice, you know, the ‘hatchies.’”

And these kids all went to a local one-room schoolhouse with Junior in the late ’50s.

With that in mind, I certainly wouldn’t want my husband to wear those pants. Talk about itchy.

~Barbara Baird

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Ethelyn and Junior. Photo by Barbara Baird.