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Babbs in the Woods: Invasion of the compression shorts

Aw, come on … last week I blogged about my disappointment with L.L. Bean’s hunting catalog and that it could not even carry a decent piece of women’s underwear. I once won an award and $50 for a column I wrote about choosing the right underwear in the outdoors, based on the age-old theory that “cotton is rotten.” That paid for some of the gas to get to the conference to accept the award, minus the $10 to enter the contest in the first place.

Anyway, so L.L. Bean filled its hunting catalog with items for guys and dogs. Then, I had to go to my local Wal-Marts (as the natives refer to it in these parts) because it’s the only place in this town that carries humidifier treatment and what did I see in the Women’s Activewear department — hanging right out there for everyone coming in the front doors by the pharmacy? Men’s underpants! So, not only do the guys hog the hunting pages, they’re now encroaching in the women’s department at my Walmarts store.

Taken with an iPhone under stressful conditions in the main center aisle at Walmart, somewhere in Missouri. Photo by Barbara Baird.

Just like with the Bean thing, I got my hopes up, seeing those boxer briefs hanging there, looking like wick-away fabric and all … and then, I looked again. No Y-fronts, but a guy in the poster photo above the rack. So, here’s what I think happened. Someone forgot to put the Y-fronts in the pants and Walmarts bought ’em anyway and then, because they didn’t sell in the Men’s Activewear Department, someone put out a memo that read, “Hey, those Starter boxer briefs that aren’t selling in the Men’s Department this winter, put them in a prominent place in Women’s Activewear. Those gals are so desperate for non-cotton underclothes, that they’ll probably buy them.”

Uh, huh. Not this consumer. They couldn’t fool me. Maybe if they’d taken the little pretty boy poster down, the one who is getting ready to throw a perfect spiral, and removed the 2XXL ones from the rack, but no way.

And while we’re on the subject of Walmarts, is it only the stores in this part of the country, or is this the standard layout everywhere? The ladies lingerie department is located right across from the sporting goods department, making it very convenient for a perv to stand in that department and ogle gals over there. Meanwhile, and only because I’ve bought my husband’s socks in bags at Walmarts, the men’s section is hidden in the middle, the bowels really, of the store.

I’ve got a good notion to start messing with my store. Every time I pass by the lingerie section, I may just have to pick up a leopard-print bra and panty set and hang it, oh say, over by a turkey vest or maybe even over in the Men’s Activewear area.

~Barbara Baird

Twitter: http://twitter.com/babbsbaird
Facebook: http://facebook.com/babbsthewon

  • About Barbara Baird

    Publisher/Editor Barbara Baird is a freelance writer in hunting, shooting and outdoor markets. Her bylines are found at several top hunting and shooting publications. She also is a travel writer, and you can follow her at https://www.ozarkian.com.


The Conversation

  • Jim Ferguson says: February 17, 2010 at 8:02 am

    The way I see it you’ve got two choices. Buy from Victoria Secrets online or GO COMMANDO. No one will know but you! JF

    • Women's Outdoor News says: February 17, 2010 at 9:16 am

      Well, now, we hear from the voice of the outdoors! Voice of Great American Outdoor Trails Radio Magazine, and someone with such a great sense of humor! Thanks for reading the WON and let’s catch up sometime.

  • Anna Vogler says: February 16, 2010 at 9:09 pm

    This blog had me rolling on the floor laughin! HAHA!! It’s so good to know that the struggle to find women’s particular clothing, hunting or not, is sooo hard to find! and like you said, it seems they cater to all shapes and sizes of men: skinny, big, tall, short. BUT why not for women?!?! I CANNOT FIT IN 32″ LENGTH PANTS!! AGH! and i don’t want a pair of hunting pants that ARE long enough but has a waist so long that dang near supports “my girls!” i know the frustration. however, our walmart’s layout here in middle GA does not have the lingerie section located in eye view of the outdoor supplies and gear. Nope…..and the men’s section aint hard to find either!! it’s the first section facing the grocery department and check out lines! but of course….you’re talking to the w-mart queen here. i know where just about every dang item is located at in wmart. my hubby has to call me on the phone to ask where something is specifically and i can tell him in about 2 seconds flat. should i be embarrassed or proud? anyhow! didn’t meant to get off on a tangeant….but those pants in your wmart don’t fool me either!! I’ll be on the lookout at our local wmart!!

    keep the laughs coming, Babbs!

    • Women's Outdoor News says: February 16, 2010 at 9:14 pm

      Anna, I need to get out of my snow globe. Can you tell? It’s gone from railing on about poor booth babes to getting peeved over non-Y-Front boxer briefs in the women’s dept. Thanks for the update on your Walmart, and Holly, aka NorCal, is right … the people of Walmart bra? Haven’t seen it, but I have seen the People of Walmart website, and thank God they’re not all in my Walmart(s).

  • NorCal Cazadora says: February 16, 2010 at 8:51 pm

    Have you seen the People of Walmart bra? I think someone already did that and the customers are wearing the stuff!