The Complete Combatant, Shelley Hill, pays tribute to her friend, William Aprill, who taught her about the “Ask, Tell, Make “method of shutting down a crime about to be perpetrated against you. In other words, learn how to fail the test of potential victimhood right away.
First, I would like to introduce William Aprill. He was a friend. He was funny, witty, loyal and loved to laugh. William traveled through Atlanta so often that when he called, I knew that usually meant that we were meeting somewhere for lunch or dinner on this travel day. He was also a “foodie.” He loved good food, canning pickles and cooking.
I made him what I called “Adult Chili” during one of his visits. He loved it so much that he insisted that I make it whenever he was in town. The name was officially changed to “William’s Chili” in 2017. He loved to support his friends, loved my Image Based Decisional Drills concept and picked eight images so he could have a “William Aprill Expansion pack.” He loved his friends fiercely and we all knew it. [William Aprill died in August 2020.]
Now it’s time to introduce you to William on a professional level, so pull up a chair, this may take a while. William was a competitive shooter, excellent presenter, licensed mental health professional, high level educator and one of the most unique people and brilliant minds that I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. William was a former deputy sheriff and Special Duty US Marshal that specialized in educating the community about violent criminals, their decisions, their perspectives, their backgrounds and their mindsets. All the while, he was also educating us to look for cues, means to avoid and to use this knowledge to build a solid mindset that can be used in self-protection.
One of my favorite teachings from William was his “ASK, TELL and MAKE” series.
William says that the “blitz” attack is not that common, and it’s more like an interview. Here’s how it goes down:
ASK
Be friendly, use your hands to animate “Stop” and ASK something like this: “Hey, could you hold up right there?” If this person had no intent, he would probably stop. You now have your first sign that this person probably had no criminal intent. If he asks you a question, you can be friendly, use your hands to animate “stop” and say, “I am sorry, I don’t” or “I am sorry, I can’t.” Same deal, if he listens and respect your first “no,” then he may not be looking for someone vulnerable. If he ignores your “no,” you immediately escalate to our next verbal command.
TELL
We are not friendly now. We now move quickly into the TELL stage. We use our hands in large unfriendly “stop” gestures, our face is unfriendly and our voice is unfriendly. We say, “Stop now!” If he ignores ASK and TELL, that means he is failing to stop, which means it’s time for you to escalate once again.
Time is of the essence. We do not keep repeating our ASK or our TELL. If you do this, it will lose its power.
MAKE
This is now MAKE them stop time. MAKE is usually verbal, combined with an action. In other words, you would yell, “Get away from me!” … while doing something, such as the following actions:
Your ability to MAKE them stop all depends on what you are efficient in.
CYA (Not that one, though)
Do you know what CYA means? Nope, not what you thought! It means “Can You Articulate?” You may have to explain your actions to the police so articulating that there are three verbal escalation steps that you practice so you can judge if a person means you harm. You ASK them to leave you alone, ignored? You TELL them to leave you alone, ignored? Then you MAKE them leave you alone.
Remember, you have been using the ASK, TELL and MAKE series for years with your kids, dogs, etc., so do not be intimidated because you would be using them on a stranger. Practice these three steps so much that the words just fly out of your mouth.
I would like to thank William for everything that he has contributed to our education over the many years of sharing. ASK, TELL and MAKE is just the tip of the ice berg that is William Aprill. You can just Google him to find many articles, blogs and videos that has William’s work but since I am a visual personal, I am partial to videos. You can find a wonderful William Aprill Tribute page on the Personal Defense Network.
Shelley Hill wears a "bunch of hats." Her husband, Brian, named her the “Indispensable Organization Wizard” about 25 years ago and that has become her official title. Shelley is the CEO and instructor at The Complete Combatant. She is an HK Brand Ambassador, publishes regular articles in Women’s Outdoor News and Shooting Illustrated, teaches online classes, is an Active Self Protection Certified Instructor, an Instructor Graduate of Modern Samurai Project's Red Dot Instructor program, NRA Certified Instructor, Certified NRA Chief Range Safety Officer, Refuse to be a Victim Instructor and is a Certified OC (Pepper Spray) Instructor through Chuck Haggard's Agile Training & Consulting. She is the designer and mastermind behind Image Based Decisional Drills, Smart Choices , LockedIn Grip, The Complete Combatant's annual The Mingle for professional ladies in the "firearms/self defense" industry and The Quest for red dot shooters. She is also the President of a non-profit organization called Blue Line Ponies. This 501c3 focuses on providing a retirement range for our career service horses. Shelley is also a presenter at several national conferences is a public speaker and she actually loves people. View all posts by Shelley Hill
We appreciate your reply and yes … isn’t Shelley Hill a wonderful teacher? Good luck with the classes, and if you want, please check Shelley’s other posts here at The WON. She has amassed a rich collection of posts surrounding situational awareness and personal defense. We love her.
I used this recently on a young female communications employee selling services as she was about to walk up my driveway past my “No Trespassing – Invited Guests Only” sign. I commanded her in a loud voice to “STOP, HOLD YOUR POSITION, AND STATE YOUR BUSINESS!” After she told me what she wanted I told her to go away, but she wanted to go up the hill to my neighbor (we share a common driveway). She was informed to have a nice hike and not to expect a warm welcome there either.
Thank you for writing this! Should be easy enough to remember Ask,Tell,Make. I’ll be sure to watch the videos and share with my daughters. Taking my CCL classes this weekend, and I can only hope they cover info like this.