The daily news cycle often reminds us of the importance of having a home defense plan. Everyone has been afraid for their safety at some point; whether it’s realistic fear or a fear that’s unfounded, it comes from our ability as human beings to reason that something doesn’t “feel right.” Helping children understand when to listen to their own inner voice is part of forming them into adults who can handle intense situations and keep their wits about them. Teaching children about home defense and personal safety is something every parent engages in, whether they give it that title or not. Let’s look at a few ways we can help our children become versed in home safety in order to think on their feet and protect themselves.
Be Honest and Don’t Become a Target
First, focus on helping your children to feel safe. One of the best ways to do this is to be honest. We are honest with children about roads, fire and strangers – from the time they are very young. Children intrinsically know that certain things are not safe – it’s why babies get scared in the arms of a stranger. Nobody has to teach them this! But the other side of honesty, with respect to home safety, is that if we do simple things to make ourselves less of a target, we are less likely to be victims of crime. That is comforting.
Home defense doesn’t have to be a big, scary topic. A good approach is to consider home safety as a sum of many smaller topics that we teach children as they grow – just like we teach them about other parts of life that hold risk, such as cars and crossing streets. We spend many years teaching them about cars before we let them drive and they’re exposed to different facets of vehicles from an early age, yet they’re not scared of cars, even if a car wreck is more likely than a home invasion.
Children can understand that if we don’t make ourselves a target (meaning we don’t show off expensive cars, phones, jewelry or flaunt things others would steal), we’re much less likely to be burglarized. It’s reassuring to tell your children, “ We don’t live in a house with expensive things that someone would want to break in and steal.” This also is a jumping off point to remind children of the importance of not leaving things lying around that could invite theft; bikes don’t get left in the front yard overnight, car keys always come into the house, the garage door stays closed unless you’re in it, etc. Children will become less likely to leave things lying around or doors open if they understand it’s an invitation to theft.
Theft is not the worst thing that could happen. A person who would steal from you is also capable of assault or worse. Making sure children understand that we don’t make ourselves a target is a big first step. This can both calm fears and develop a proactive mindset for their lifetime.
Have a Plan for the Whole Family
Home defense involves more than having a potential safe room if your home was broken into or a firearm for self-defense. When children are involved, you need clearly defined roles. Scenario training is also a good idea. Walk kids through a plan of action. And this is for more than basic home defense – think about natural disasters, civil unrest, fires. Rehearsing a plan to get to safety means your family is much better prepared physically and mentally.
Parental Roles
Parents tend to break down their roles in home defense to tasks such as, “Dad gets his firearm. Mom gets all the kids into the master bedroom.” But consider that there are single parent households and you might be home alone with your children. So plan on what you would do both with two parents and with one. Children might have to dial 911 and know their address and what to tell the operator.
Children’s Roles
Children need to have concrete and actionable directions and tasks, such as, “If we ever wake you up at night and say to come with us, don’t ask questions, just quietly do what you’re asked.” Or “If you wake up and hear something strange, get Dad and Mom immediately.” Make choices and build a plan that accounts for children’s ages and temperaments. A five-year old can come wake you in the night over a strange noise, but not understand what’s going on. A teenager might have a much better understanding of what sounds like someone in the house versus the dog knocking over the garbage can. So assess your children’s abilities honestly and don’t ask them to adopt a plan that’s too much for them.
Roles When Home Alone
Whether an adult or a child, if you’re in a house alone and think someone is breaking in, it’s best to have a plan to get help that’s close by fast – maybe even a neighbor or relative. The plan for what to do when totally alone is also why your home defense plan should involve a plan of egress. Perhaps it’s safer for a pre-teen child to get out the backdoor or window and go to the neighbor’s house than it is to hide and call 911. If a child can remove himself from danger safely, it’s a better plan than confronting danger alone.
Control Your Information
Not becoming a target also involves keeping close tabs on your private information. This is often called Operational Security (OPSEC). During the last 27 years as a military family, one of the biggest boosts to feeling safe at home is the proactive take the military puts on family readiness. There are literally people in charge of family readiness. Some of that relates to military day-to-day life and how families will manage with a parent deployed. But other parts of it revolve around ideas like operational security. This is really more prevalent in specialized military communities, but the mental preparation for handling oneself when strangers ask questions, when keeping a low profile travelling is valuable. It’s more about mindset – that means being prepared and capable of caring for yourself and your loved ones, no matter what happens.
You can teach your own version of Op Sec to your family. Here are a few ideas:
According to data from the US government, “Offenders were known to their victims in 65% of violent burglaries; offenders were strangers in 28%.” This means that people who experience violence in a home invasion tend to know the person. This is concrete data to show those older children, especially if they might not like to accept that their friends don’t need to know about your family’s private information. A great habit to get your children into when friends ask “How many guns do you have?” or “When do your parents get home from work?” is to teach them to reply that, “I bet my Mom/Dad would love to answer that.” Tell them never to give out personal, family information. A random comment from someone who is a tertiary friend or relative could fall on the wrong ears and leave your family as a target. So teach your children that privacy matters and it’s non-negotiable.
Outside of the Home
One last area to touch on is how you treat your “home” away from home. Teaching children that travel can be fun, meeting new people and seeing new places, but to be mindful that it’s also an opening for others to see you as a target. So keep the same mindset about awareness of your surroundings as you would have at home, but add things like securing your doors with a travel lock, checking your through your AirBnB when you arrive and not giving strangers your personal information. Consider that your location services on specific apps should also be turned off, especially when traveling.
Location services leads to “home defense” in the world of social media. Having clear rules on locations, topics posted, apps used and the level of oversight you will maintain as a parent are truly important and a part of your home safety plan. If your children do not understand the need to secure their online presence, anyone can find them.
Fear versus Strength
Ultimately, you want your children to feel safe in and outside of their home. Part of creating that safety is to involve them in maintaining the environment. If they grow from a young age to realize that our home defense is best talked about inside our a home and with an immediate family, they will build their self-sufficiency and trust their instincts when it comes to strangers in their space or keeping outsiders from having access to what’s not meant for them.
Note: CCW Safe offers important self-defense coverage to its members should you ever need to protect yourself and loved ones from a home invasion or crime outside the home.
Becky Yackley primarily competes in 3 Gun, USPSA, Bianchi pistol, but has competed in shooting since 1989 in disciplines from service-rifle, to NCAA Air Rifle and Smallbore, air pistol and a little bit of long range rifle. She shoots guns and cameras at competitions around the country, and writes in her fictional spare time. View all posts by Becky Yackley
