In My Sights: 'Nacho Mama' she's not

In nature there is a hierarchy, a pecking order in every species. Stallions herd the mares, there’s an alpha dog in the pack, even chickens have a pecking order.

Hubby and I came face to face with the pecking order of the football game concession stand the other night, where we were recruited to work, volunteered as in “what night did you want to work the concession stand?”  It’s one of the perks of having a child learning percussion.  Percussion – hitting things with sticks.  Banging on things. Think band membership with physical side effects.

So … we trudged up the hill to the concrete block building swarming with flies and bees and took our place among the flock. And began watching the pecking order emerge. It was obvious we might lose some feathers.

These are the positions, in pecking order of importance: order taker/money handler, nachos/frito pies, hot dogs, pretzels/drinks, and hander (as in “hand me that [fill in the blank here]”).

Apparently to get the good spots you have to arrive an hour early, plant yourself and be … assertive. I was assigned the pretzel/drink station, which was fine with me.  It was out of the way, busy enough to not get bored, and offered a good vantage point from which to watch the herd. And herd-like it was, all cows with the exception of my husband, one obvious boss cow, one boss cow-in-training, with no bull in sight. Hubby took up position by the vacant corner of nachos.  We scurried to fill the orders mumbled out by the moneychangers.

After a half-dozen nacho orders, the boss-cow lady moved Hubby to hot dogs and directed another woman to his apparently coveted corner of chips and canned cheese.

Hubby said he’s never been demoted at work before, and pondered if he under-cheesed the chips. He wondered what you have to do to work your way up to nachos’ cheeser. I told him not to stress over it, ’cause it was a matriarchal herd and he was the only male. I find the hierarchy of other species much easier to deal with. Next time, I may take the percussion sticks with me.

Traci Schauf is a college instructor, freelance writer, amateur photographer, and obsessed outdoorswoman who divides her residency between Oklahoma and Kansas.  With her family, she canoes, kayaks, bikes, hikes, backpacks and fishes.  She hosts her own daily blogs about her family and outdoor life at and healthy living and fitness at  She has been published in Country Woman, Family Fun, and Contempo magazines. Traci’s philosophy is “there is an outdoor activity for everyone, and everyone should be outdoors.”

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