I enjoy spending time in the woods hunting and watching as the wildlife wake up. Not everyone can hear and see the woods come to life. As these mornings get cooler, I begin layering my clothing, tucking everything in to help me stay warm. Everything seems perfect until I have to, well … go. So, with a little online research and time on task I’ve compiled the following tips for peeing in the woods.
When climbing down from a tree stand, I always unload my firearm and open the action before using the haul line to bring it down. Otherwise, I put my gun on safe and set it near me. I avoid setting it against a tree since it could fall and cause an accident, always keeping in mind the 4 firearms safety rules:
Now, I realize not everyone openly discusses getting into a good position for peeing in the woods. But let’s face it, if we get this discussion out in the open it will make things easier for everyone. Plus, it helps if I know my position before I search out the right spot to do my business. Note: Check to make sure there’s not a game camera aimed right at you, since hunters like to position their cameras near tree stands and blinds.
The Squat: A wide stance helps me stay balanced when I squat. This position works well in fields without tree around. If you’re wearing a sidearm, this also keep it in place in its holster.
The Lean: Relax those thighs and find a sturdy tree trunk to lean against.
Hug a Tree: When leaning against a tree won’t work, I hug a tree. This helps me keep my balance as long as I make sure to find a sturdy tree.
The Makeshift Potty: Bend a sapling, find a fallen tree or a large rock to lean and help balance the squat position.
First I find an area at least 200 feet away from a water source and off any trail. Since I want an area that absorbs quickly, I look for pine needles, grass or soft dirt. To decrease the chance of splash back avoid hard dirt or rocks, especially concave ones. Next, I check for an incline and make sure I position myself uphill.
When I get into position I make sure my pants, underwear, shoes and laces won’t come in contact with the stream as it runs past. If I keep my pants around my knees and have a free hand, I use it to make sure they stay out of the way. A sometimes tricky, but extremely important step. Always move anything from your back pockets to other pockets, or lay the stuff near your gun or in a collection where you’ll remember it. Don’t be like our other editor, who lost her phone out of her back pocket, peed on it and then walked away from it – only to have to ask another hunter to call her phone, which lay in a wet mud puddle in an otherwise dry field.
I keep the following items in my backpack to make peeing in the woods a little more bearable.
OK, I have another option that works great for cold weather or peeing from a tree stand. You know guys do that … right? I did a bit of online research and every article I read said the smell of human urine has no effect on deer moving through the area. So, if I don’t feel like climbing down from the tree stand or in extremely cold weather when I want to limit the exposure of bare skin, I use the GoGirl. [MSRP: $12.99] Now, it took some practice and involves a certain technique, but it allows me to pee in the woods while standing.
Let’s face it, if you hunt, you pee in the woods. Just like the book, Everyone Poops, we all know it happens, just not everyone talks about it. Now at least we have some options.
This Retro WON first appeared Nov. 22, 2017.
Michelle Cerino, aka Princess Gunslinger, is the managing and social media editor at The WON. Michelle is the president of Cerino Consulting and Training Group, LLC, a firearms training company she built with her husband Chris in 2011. Her path in the firearms and outdoors industries is ever progressing. She is writing, hunting, competing and doing contract work for major manufacturers. View all posts by Michelle Cerino